New Study: 100% of West Ashley Men Have Urinated in Their Front Yard

A newly-released study in the Journal of Palmetto Medicine says that 100% of West Ashley men have urinated in their front yard. The surprising discovery once again shows how West Ashley men are the most mysterious and bizarre creatures in the Charleston area.

The study had planned to follow 10,000 West Ashley men over a period of 8 years to see how many would urinate in their front yards. The study was ended after only four days when all 10,000 men had already done it.

Clinical Researcher Brad Pollard was surprised by the data they found. “We expected to find a few West Ashley men who would pee in their front yard, but we were shocked when we saw it was all of them,” he said. “They’re the closest things to wild animals we’ve found among the human race. It’s truly fascinating.”

West Ashley Wife Jennifer Berkland says her husband pisses in the front yard almost every day. “We’ll be coming home from the bar and he’ll whip it out and pee right in our front bush even though the bathroom is only fifteen feet away,” she said. “Hell, he’ll even pee out front before he gets in his truck to go to work. I don’t even waste my time complaining about it anymore.”

When Jennifer’s husband was asked why he chooses to pee in the front yard, he replied, “Just cuz.”

The research team will expand their study to find out how many West Ashley men have peed in a Gatorade bottle while driving instead of pulling over.

4 Comments on "New Study: 100% of West Ashley Men Have Urinated in Their Front Yard"

  1. I thought it was Citadel alumni that did that!

  2. The really surprising finding, suppressed in this report, is that they will sniff the bushes first to see if any of their buddies have already been here.

  3. Bertie McGucken | May 22, 2017 at 9:56 am |

    Just urinated?

  4. It’s true. Saves on the water bill on two levels.

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