Hanahan Woman Says CBD Oil is the Perfect Cure for Her Imaginary Illness

A Hanahan resident says taking CBD oil has been the perfect cure for her imaginary illness. Christie Brewer has paid hundreds of dollars for CBD oil for the last few months even though there’s no proof it actually works.

CBD oil has been extremely popular with people who publicly claim to have major unprovable illnesses on Facebook. Sufferers of fibromyalgia, gluten hypersensitivity, spontaneous Lyme disease, and many more pretend conditions claim CBD oil is the best cure-all for everything.

Christie said CBD oil has been the only thing to help her. “My restless pinky syndrome has kept me out of work for the last five years. As soon as I took CBD oil, my symptoms went away completely. I’m still not going back to work because traffic gives me diarrhea, but at least I’m not suffering anymore.”

Christie also boasted about the quality of her CBD oil. “I will settle for nothing less than 100% pure CBD oil. Thank God I can acquire that at my local North Charleston strip mall.” Christie was unaware that her brand of CBD oil is made in a Chinese plant that also manufacturers herpes drugs for pets.

Medical professionals say the jury is still out on CBD oil. “There isn’t a single study that shows CBD oil improves anything. These dopes are overpaying for the placebo effect and are lying about getting high. Just smoke weed, for Christ’s sake! At least that actually does something for you.”

CBD oil will go out of style six months from now when fringe medical science bloggers claim that gargling asparagus pee is now the new fantastic cure. Fools with fake illnesses will flock to pay hundreds of dollars for craft asparagus pee made in California to feel better.