A Goose Creek woman prepared a meal that paired nicely with her fruity Arbor Mist wine on Monday night. Crystal Reed carefully crafted a plate of week-old Cool Ranch Doritos and microwaved Totino’s Pizza Rolls to match the flavor profile of her bottle of Fruit Punch Zinfandel.

Even though Arbor Mist should be chilled in a refrigerator before consumption, Crystal keeps it on top of her refrigerator, right next to the Sam’s Club-sized box of Count Chocula cereal. To cool her wine down, she puts a few ice cubes in her wine glass tumbler with flip-flops painted on it.

Crystal described how much she enjoys Arbor Mist wine. “It’s like drinking Kool-Aid, but with more sugar and booze in it. When I take a sip and close my eyes, I’m instantly whisked away to the Myrtle Beach Boardwalk. It’s such a classy and refined libation.”

Crystal explained how her wine was going to enhance the flavors in her dinner. “This Fruit Punch Zinfandel pairs nicely with my Cool Ranch Doritos. It also enriches the flavor of the Triple Pepperoni Pizza Rolls main course. I’ve become quite the expert in pairing fine wine with exquisite food. I’m like one of those wine dudes with the giant bling necklaces.”

Crystal has plans for a big trip in the future. “Someday I hope to visit the Arbor Mist vineyards in the heart of wine country…New York,” she said. Crystal will become ecstatic when Arbor Mist releases a limited-time-only Pina Colada flavored wine.