Folly Beach Surfers Furious Over New Balloon Ban

In an effort to reduce litter, Folly Beach recently banned a number of disposable items on the beach including balloons, and now surfers are furious. To voice their disapproval, a crowd of Folly Beach surfers have been riding waves non-stop while holding their favorite color balloon.

Folly Beach surfer Bodhi Harris said he will continue to surf with balloons in spite of the ordinance. “It’s our Buddha-given right to shred a gnarly set while holding a balloon,” he said. “The next thing you know, they’ll be telling me I can’t sell grilled cheese sandwiches laced with magic mushrooms out of the back of my VW Bus. This brutal oppression needs to stop!”

Internet-Educated Environmental Conservationist Emily Klein said the balloon ban is absolutely necessary to protect the local wildlife. “All of these balloons are dangerous to the local beach animals,” she said. “If a baby sea turtle accidentally gets caught on a loose balloon, that turtle can fly all the way up into the sky to the moon, and turtles have a really rough time surviving on the moon. Let’s ban balloons and keep all the turtles on earth where they belong.”

Folly Beach Mayor Derrick Gorman said he was surprised by the surfers’ reaction. “I thought the surfers would be more pissed off about the Styrofoam cooler ban, but I guess I underestimated their passion for surfing with helium-inflated pieces of latex. If only they were this passionate about showering on a daily basis.”

The surfers’ protest is anticipated to end this weekend when it gets too cold for them. They plan to resume their efforts after they get back from traveling to Australia for the winter and living off their trust funds.

2 Comments on "Folly Beach Surfers Furious Over New Balloon Ban"

  1. Gotta read to the end for the kill shot. 🙂

  2. Sad but true
    Surfing Charleston = rich kids with drones and go pros
    No character anymore

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