Daniel Island Elementary School has been forced to stop serving Kobe beef for lunch and replace it with the cheaper option of Angus beef. The drastic cost-cutting measure was made after it was determined that there would be a budget shortfall by the end of the year. Students are doing their best to cope with the severe downgrade in steak quality.

School Principal Amy Harrison said the school had no other option. “We know this beef change will disappoint a lot of students, but it’s something we had to do,” she said. “If we didn’t make this drastic change in the cafeteria, we wouldn’t be able to afford our school field trip to Tahiti, and we wouldn’t want to deprive the children of that.”

Daniel Island mom Susan Wilson was furious when the announcement was made. “How can they make these reckless decisions without even consulting the parents?” she said. “My son is severely allergic to beef that costs less than $100 per pound. Did the school even bother to think about that? Of course not. I’m going to speak to someone’s manager!”

The students immediately noticed the change in their beef. Fifth grader Frankie Paulus said, “Who do they think they’re fooling? You don’t think we can see the difference in marbling in these cuts? Of course we can. This is an outrage!”

The school may not be out of the woods yet, with more budget cuts expected in the coming weeks. Rumors are circulating that the school is debating between eliminating the equestrian program, or cutting the on-site hot stone massage therapists.