Daniel Island Haunted House Attraction Features Flying in Coach Dungeon

A new haunted house attraction on Daniel Island will feature a Flying In Coach Dungeon to scare local residents. The unique horror experience will put people into the terrifying scenario of being too poor for first-class travel.

Before entering the Flying Coach Dungeon, visitors will be required to wait in line and watch 50 more important people go inside before they do. When finally granted entry, they’ll be forced to wait behind a doofus who’s trying to stuff an over-sized suitcase into a tiny overhead space and refuses to accept it won’t fit.

Then they’ll be forced to sit in a coach seat that fits only 75% of their butt size, and they won’t have access to freshly-steamed towels for their faces. The scares go into full-gear when visitors are required to pay $5 for crappy domestic canned-beer and are fed carb-filled infant-sized snacks without gluten-free options available.

Haunted House creator Gregory Perkins is proud of how much his attraction is scaring Daniel Island residents. “A lot of thought went into this haunting experience. The coach seats are placed near a bathroom with a broken sliding door, so visitors are forced to endure a faint farty smell the entire time. They’ll also be placed next to passengers who have removed their shoes and have their bare, stinky feet propped up on the chair in front of them. All of this torture while having a clear line of sight to the first-class section where VIPs are enjoying unlimited champagne and lobster tail.”

Next year Perkins will be developing a new terrifying experience for Daniel Island children who will be forced to listen to music in headphones that aren’t Beats brand.