Creepers Searching For New Bar Now That Wet Willie’s Has Closed

When Wet Willie’s announced it was shutting its doors for good, it came as a shock to many who forgot it was still there.  The bar was known for its frozen drinks and loud dance music, but Wet Willie’s had also built a reputation for having male customers who would make women feel uncomfortable by staring at them from a dark corner. These men, also known as Creepers, have now been displaced and are searching for a new bar to prowl at.

Creepers are usually easy to spot on the bar scene–their shirts are unbuttoned too far, they use way too much hair gel, and they get awkwardly close to females without permission. Most Creepers work part-time at cell phone kiosks at the mall and still live with their parents.

Spike Watson, a fifteen-year Creeper of Wet Willie’s, discussed the challenges of finding a new bar. “The change has been hard on my friends and me,” said Watson. “There are no other good places with cages and elevated dance floors. We’re out of our comfort zone.”

“I tried going to some Mt. Pleasant bars,” said Wet Willie’s Creeper Felix Anderson. “Those chicks are so high-strung. If you start grinding on them at the bar, they pepper spray you in the face. I wish Wet Willie’s would come back.”

Downtown resident Linda Eggers recounted her night at Wet Willie’s years ago. “We went there for my bachelorette party so I could cross some items off my scavenger hunt list. We needed some desperate dudes, but those Creepers were too sketchy. We left so fast, I accidentally left my penis tiara behind.”

Felix Anderson isn’t going to give up on his pursuit for a new bar to hang out at. “Mt. Pleasant bars aren’t my style, so I’m going to head over to West Ashley. I’ve heard those chicks love guys like me.”

1 Comment on "Creepers Searching For New Bar Now That Wet Willie’s Has Closed"

  1. R.T. Shepherd | April 11, 2016 at 11:08 am |

    If I were a Creeper I’d creep about Goose Creek. Aren’t there any night clubs there?

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