Confederate Re-Enactors Ask Boeing Employees To Vote “No!” For Union

A group of local Confederate Army re-enactors are imploring Boeing employees to vote “NO!” tomorrow for the Union Vote. The Confederate re-enactors picketed outside Boeing’s manufacturing plant in North Charleston and shared their displeasure with Union representation for the last 152 years.

The hotly contested Union Vote will take place Wednesday morning and could have a major impact on Boeing’s future plans in the lowcountry. The only thing known for sure after tomorrow is that citizens of Charleston won’t have to endure the annoying pro-union vs anti-union pissing match TV commercials anymore.

Local Confederate Re-Enactor James Burns said the Union has delivered nothing but disappointment so far. “We were taken over by the Union over 150 years ago and they haven’t given us what we want,” he said. “The Union is always like ‘Oh, we’re going to make things so much better,’ but we ain’t seen states’ rights in years.”

Boeing CEO Richard Garner was pleased to hear he had the support of local Confederate re-enactors to vote “No” against the Union. Garner said, “I don’t think these bozos know what Union we’re dealing with, but we’ll take any support we can get.”

When the Union wins the Boeing vote, the losers are expected to spend the next 152 years in denial that they lost and dress up every year to re-enact the moment employees voted yes for the Union.