Charleston School Budget Shortfall Caused By CFO Using Common Core Math

An investigation into the massive $18 million budget shortfall in Charleston County Schools concluded that the massive errors were the result of using Common Core Math methods. By the time they completed all the steps Common Core requires, the district had already lost a massive amount of money that couldn’t be recovered.

Chief Financial Officer Doug Hanley apologized for the mix-up. “When it takes 45 minutes to complete a simple math problem using Common Core, it’s going to take a while to notice that expenses are a problem,” he said. “When we finally realized that there was an issue, we were already $18 million in the hole. So…my bad.”

Common Core Advocate Kate Wentz defended the use of their unique method to complete math problems. “Sure, you can solve things accurately and quickly by using the tried and true math methods our parents learned,” she said. “But why not use a new, confusing method that takes ten times as long and will create unneeded tension between you and your child? Isn’t that what we all want?”

Even though the school district will mandate that all financial officers continue to use Common Core to calculate the budget, most are expected to secretly store the old methods within their TI-83 calculators so they can get the right answers without the Superintendent seeing.

4 Comments on "Charleston School Budget Shortfall Caused By CFO Using Common Core Math"

  1. Jeff Nolan | May 13, 2016 at 8:06 am |

    Wow. I could deal with this website being unfunny. Can’t deal with you people being complete morons.

  2. J.G. Hollowell IV | May 13, 2016 at 7:06 pm |

    math is latin infusion

  3. Good satire has a bite to it. This does, highlighting management incompetence and trendy educational folly (Common Core).

  4. The financial administrators should step up to “lattice” math. It makes complex equations so easy.

Comments are closed.