Charleston Man’s Resolution to Quit Drinking Alcohol Lasts Record 2 Hours

A Charleston man’s New Year’s resolution to quit drinking alcohol lasted a record two hours this morning. Downtown resident Daniel Gaskins declared he would quit drinking booze for all of 2018 before remembering the Gamecocks played at noon today, then cracked open a beer to start pre-gaming.

This isn’t the first time Daniel has made a resolution to abstain from alcohol, but this year’s by far lasted the longest at a record 120 minutes. In previous years, his effort to quit drinking only stayed active for less than an hour. In 2012, he proclaimed he was done with drinking for good while slamming mimosas at brunch.

Daniel was pleased with his improvement. “I nearly doubled my time away from booze this year, so I’m happy with the progress. Next year I want to shoot for three hours without drinking. I’m hoping someday I can be courageous enough to watch college football without a solid beer buzz.”

Daniel’s wife Ashley expected this outcome for his resolution. “He does this every damn year,” she said. “He says he’s tired of drinking, being hungover, and that he’s going to quit drinking for good, then the college bowl games come on and he’s snoring on the couch in a beer-induced nap by 6pm. He’s a booze hound for life.”

Daniel will also declare to all his friends that he won’t be drinking for this year’s Super Bowl until his neighbor breaks out some moonshine and he gets completely hammered by the 2nd quarter. He’ll also fail to avoid boozing on St. Patrick’s Day, Cinco de Mayo, 4th of July, Labor Day, and Columbus Day.




1 Comment on "Charleston Man’s Resolution to Quit Drinking Alcohol Lasts Record 2 Hours"

  1. Randall Shepherd | January 5, 2018 at 10:23 am |

    You go Daniel!

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