Ashley and Kara have been official best friends forever since the day they shared a dorm room together at the College of Charleston, and that bond continued as the two lived close by in Mt. Pleasant for the last seven years. Now their relationship has become irreparably fractured after Ashley decided to move to Johns Island.

Ashley and her husband, Greg, initially didn’t want to move all the way out to Johns Island, but had no choice when they found the perfect home that met all their needs. “Greg wanted a huge yard and a view of large oak trees,” said Ashley. “This is the only area left in Charleston that provides that, but now I won’t see my bestie Kar-Bear every day. This is literally going to be torture.”

Kara was less than willing to make an effort to continue the friendship. “It takes almost 45 minutes to drive from Brickyard Plantation to Johns Island, and it’s hella-boring there. There’s no way in hell I’m wasting half my day to go all the way over there. I’ll just FaceTime her from now on.”

Johns Island has made efforts to boost their visitor count over the years, but largely those efforts have failed. Over 90% of Johns Island’s visitor traffic occurs between 9am and 11am on Sunday mornings when young females want to take a picture of their brunch dish from Fat Hen and post it on Instagram.

A rehabilitation center has been established for new Johns Island residents so they can process and cope with the new changes in their way of life. Senior Therapist Joan Westin said, “This is a place for Johns Island newbies to heal. They need to adjust to a life with friends promising to come over to see their house and never following through. They’ll need to depend on other lonely Johns Island locals for friendship now.”