After 3 Hours and 514 Attempts, Charleston Girl Finally Posts an Acceptable Selfie

A Charleston girl has finally posted an acceptable selfie on Facebook after taking 514 pictures over a span of 3 hours. Stacy Platt uploaded the chosen picture from her location at Folly Beach and now is obsessively checking for notifications to see how many people like it.

Stacy arrived at the beach with her boyfriend, Brad, at 10:00 a.m. and immediately wanted where she was to be known to everyone. She began snapping selfies, becoming increasingly dissatisfied with each one, for hours, until she finally captured the perfect one with lighting that didn’t make her neck look fat.

Brad was emotionally worn after the selfie was complete. “I swear to God, I spend a third of my life waiting for her to take pictures of herself,” he said. “Just last week, I wasted four hours trying to help her take the perfect picture in front of the Waterfront Park fountain. She tries to make it look like it’s a casual, candid photo, but she’s not fooling anyone.”

Psychologist Joyce Hamland said the obsession with taking selfies is a serious illness. “Posting pictures of yourself for the sole purpose of getting social media reactions is textbook narcissism,” she said. “They’re so blinded by their devotion to extracting attention from others that they don’t realize the stupid, puckered-lips faces they make in their selfies make them look like constipated fish. It’s a terrible affliction with no cure.”

Stacy will spend all of Memorial Day honoring fallen soldiers by trying to take the perfect picture of herself wearing plastic American flag sunglasses. She will be crushed when her friend Amy’s selfie gets 30 more Facebook likes than hers.

7 Comments on "After 3 Hours and 514 Attempts, Charleston Girl Finally Posts an Acceptable Selfie"

  1. CONGRATULATIONS! Selfies r SOOOOO frustrating! Friends request pictures n I think all my selfies look HALLOWEEN MASKS. I send pictures of my cat. She is a beauty- all white w/green eyes.

  2. I’m sorry but I take selfies all the time, so does everyone else. If you have time to count how many pictures she took and the faces she made, then you need to find something to do. Our biggest problem with this world is that we worry about what everyone else is doing! So what if she loves herself! So what if she took them on the beach! Who really cares b haters or people with nothing to do but judge others! We as humans have NO right to judge anybody. I say do whatever makes you happy! Remember you don’t know what that person has been thru. God is the only one who is a Judge to us! I hate to see your book on that day! People: get a life and stop meddling and coveting! #donthatebcyouaint #Alwaysstayhumbleandkind
    Praying for peace and for everybody to come together and stop the nonsense! Remember the fallen always ?

    • @Amy. You realize this is faux news I.e. Not real news. No one counted selfies. It’s sarcastic comedy. BTW, were you the girl at Folly Beach?

    • Holy shit, I hope this bitch never stumbles upon The Onion. Her head will explode. Maybe she’ll capture that on a selfie.

  3. I hope Amy is being sarcastic. ?

  4. Poor Amy

  5. I love reading this shit and the comments just round out the Comedy as silly Amy’s response indicated. Relax its a joke. Laughter makes you feel much better than selfies ever will.

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