West Ashley High School Senior Will Forgo College And Buy A Pitbull

A West Ashley High School Senior has decided to forgo college and buy a Pitbull. Brandy Gorman and her Pitbull puppy will be spending the next year living at home with her parents so she can pursue her passion of “car stereos and stuff.”

Brandy was expected to go to art school part-time before pocketing the enrollment fees her parents gave her so she could buy a Pitbull. She’s been looking at Pitbull puppy ads on Craigslist while skipping class. “Pitbulls are so badass,” she said. “I think I’m going to get a male and name him Bryson.” She plans to apply for a job at Best Buy when she feels like it and has also expressed an interest in taking up vaping.

Her Guidance Counselor Todd Peterson knew she would make a choice like this. “Brandy was one of my more unique students,” he said. “When I asked her to fill out a college interest survey, she said she was interested in applying to Bite Me College and Whatever University at Nowhere. Her only personal interests listed are ‘car stereos’ and ‘shut up’, so I’m not surprised by her decision.”

Brandy’s Father was proud of his daughter’s decision. “She lied to family members so she could steal money from them. She’s just like me, and I couldn’t be more proud of her. I can’t wait to see how little she does in life.”

Brandy is planning to get high during final exams week and barely receive her diploma. She’s expected to buy the puppy without doing any research on how to care for a dog and freak out when it destroys her bedroom.

2 Comments on "West Ashley High School Senior Will Forgo College And Buy A Pitbull"

  1. Bertie McGucken | May 17, 2016 at 8:39 am |

    That kid is going to get herself kicked out of Parkshore III and end up in Parkshore I or II, or worse living on the other side of Orange Grove Road.

  2. R.T. Shepherd | May 18, 2016 at 11:54 am |

    Backward billcap and all ..

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