A West Ashley neighborhood is recovering this morning after an evening gun battle broke out at a Bunco get-together leaving six women wounded. Things quickly escalated after host Heather Metz put out horrible food and wine for her guests, who had much higher expectations. Soon after, guns were drawn and bullets were flying to settle the dispute.
Bunco is a dice game that has grown in popularity amongst middle aged suburban women. Getting together to play the game is mostly used as an excuse to share gossip and silently judge each other. Each woman in the group takes turns hosting the game at their home and provides all the food and wine. If she does a poor job of hosting, she’ll face intense scrutiny from her bitchy friends.
Bunco attendee Danielle Granger said the food provided was unacceptable. “When I hosted, there was steak wrapped asparagus spears, truffle risotto, and duck a l’orange. We show up at Heather’s and she’s got microwave pizza rolls and chips & salsa? And I’m supposed to wash that down with a lukewarm glass of Arbor Mist? Uh-uh, bitch! That ain’t gonna work for Bunco.”
That’s when Danielle showed her Glock and told Heather she better put some real food on the kitchen counter. Heather grabbed her revolver under the cabinet and bullets started flying. One of the women in attendance took three single gunshots to the abdomen and quickly screamed “Bunco!”
Host Heather Metz defended her weak food and wine offerings from her hospital bed. “This Bunco crap is expensive as shit when it’s your turn to host,” she said. “And I work full-time, so it’s hard to get everything made in time. If I could sit on my ass all day like Danielle, then I could have made something nice and fancy.”
West Ashley Police Chief Jermaine Hammond vented his frustration about the incident. “We’ve had to abandon policing street gangs so we can monitor Bunco groups in the burbs. These games are way more dangerous than you would think. Crazy white bitches are the biggest threat to West Ashley right now.”