Wando Senior With Chicken Pox Worried He Won’t Get Laid On Prom Night

The recent spread of chicken pox at Wando High School has many local Mt. Pleasant residents concerned. The ill-timed outbreak comes just one week before senior prom is scheduled to take place. Infected senior Adam Houser is now worried his chicken pox will prevent him from getting laid on prom night.

Adam was devastated when he woke up covered in red bumps from head to toe. “Of all the times for this has to happen, why does it have to be before prom?” he said. “I tried to tell my girlfriend it wasn’t contagious, but she didn’t buy it. My chances of getting laid are slim to zero now.”

Adam’s girlfriend Tiffany was extremely displeased to learn of his diagnosis. “This ruins everything,” she said. “He was going to take me to T.G.I. Friday’s before prom, then we were going to do it on the beach while listening to John Legend. Now he’s all gross with chicken pox and everything is totally ruined.”

Wando High School Official Janet Wheeler expressed her irritation with the sudden rash of chicken pox cases. “Thanks to the hippie morons who don’t vaccinate their kids, we have to deal with this problem now,” she said. “We can only hope the kids learn from this experience and don’t become irrational idiots like their parents.”

Senior prom is expected to go on as planned with most seniors concluding their evening by having awkward sex that lasts 45 seconds.

2 Comments on "Wando Senior With Chicken Pox Worried He Won’t Get Laid On Prom Night"

  1. Oh to be in high school, focused on 45 seconds of awkward prom sex. Those were the days!

  2. R.T. Shepherd | April 25, 2016 at 3:00 pm |

    Zits are a sign of hormonal flow, or so they tell me -who is clear of blemishes.

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