Fed up with the horrible nicknames it has received over the years, West Ashley has voted to permanently change the name of its town to CostcoVille. The drastic change was taken after West Ashley residents were tired of being the butt of jokes on various comments sections of local websites.
Mayor John Tecklenburg was delighted to hear the name change was approved. “We’re tired of people calling us West Trashley and West Ashtray,” he said. “Now we’ll be known for the only thing West Ashley has going for it…a Costco store. Now if you’ll excuse me…I’m going to celebrate with an over-sized jug of cashews.”
CostcoVille will celebrate its new name this Saturday at St. Andrews Park, where residents can try free samples of Cordon Bleu Hot Pockets and Teriyaki Meatballs. Draft beer will be available for purchase at a price of $5.00 per gallon. There will also be a number of brand new flat screen TVs on display so husbands can try to justify the need to replace their current TV to their wives.
Local Real Estate Analyst Jill Howard said the change will be huge for property values in CostcoVille. “The name change is a fresh start for the entire area,” she said. “Now people won’t think of West Ashley as the place where loser alcoholics live to be closer to trashy bars. It will be known as the town to buy a bucket of hummus at an unbeatable price.”
North Charleston is also considering a similar name change so people won’t be so scared to go there. “We think SamsClubBurgh has a nice ring to it,” said North Charleston Mayor Summey. “Hopefully it will make people think about deep discounts and forget about how likely it is they’ll get shot here.”