Summerville Woman Pinterests the Shit Out of Her House For Halloween

A Summerville woman has inundated her family with crafts and decorative food from Pinterest ahead of Halloween. Kimberly Byers has been executing pins from various Halloween-themed boards at a dizzying rate and shows no sign of stopping. Her family is about to lose their minds because it feels like they’re living in a festive, spooky theme park.

Kimberly’s husband doesn’t know the difference between crafts and normal household items anymore. “I’m pinching a loaf in the bathroom this morning and I see she did some origami thing with the toilet paper roll,” he said. “It’s folded to look like a witch stirring a cauldron. Am I allowed to use the toilet paper? Does she want me to leave it there? What the hell am I supposed to do?”

Teenage son Tyler is growing tired of his mother constantly incorporating crafts into every aspect of his life. “I pulled my sandwich out for lunch in the cafeteria and my mom made it look like a spider with raisin eyes and pretzel stick legs. All my friends ripped on me for an hour. Why can’t my mom make food without it looking like a character from a children’s book?”

Middle school daughter Tiffany said she won’t let anyone come over to the house before the 31st. “I don’t want my friends to see the skeleton flamingos in the front yard, or the Wicked Witch of the East legs with ruby slippers sticking out front the bottom of the house,” she said. “I’ll have people over when there isn’t a Hocus Pocus wreath made from old repurposed dance costumes hanging on the front door.”

Kimberly is expected to drive her family even more insane in November when she creates a Star Trek themed pilgrim display on their front lawn made from pine straw, garbage bags and beach towels.




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