A smack-talking Gamecocks fan is dreading going to work today. Jason Wyatt has been sitting in his car for the last thirty minutes trying to delay the inevitable barrage of ridicule he will experience the moment he walks into the office. Now Jason will receive the payback he deserves for all the sassy memes and Dabo jokes he unleashed on his Clemson fan co-workers all week after South Carolina brutally lost in the Palmetto Bowl.
After spending the entire week trash talking his Clemson fan co-workers in person and on social media, the Gamecocks delivered a miserable performance on Saturday evening during their annual rivalry game. Jason was still in denial at halftime when the Tigers were up 35-0, posting to Facebook ‘We can totally make this deficit up in the second half.’ He watched in misery as Clemson scored three more times to bring the final score to 56-7.
Jason exhausted all efforts to avoid work today but had no choice except to come into the office. “I tried to take a PTO day, but I used them all up for the year already on bad hangovers after bar trivia nights,” he said. “I’m hoping I can sneak in through the utility entrance in the back of the building and slip into my desk without anyone seeing me. That’s my only hope.”
Co-worker Matt Braham has a treat for Jason as soon as he reaches his desk. “We took the opportunity to redecorate Jason’s desk for him,” he said. “We covered his entire desk with bright orange Post-Its, with purple letters in the center that read ‘SUCK IT!’ We also hid a Go-Pro nearby to capture his reaction. It should be epic.”
Jason will get his revenge during basketball season when better-than-usual Gamecocks squad trounces Clemson on December 21st. Jason will retaliate by secretly setting his Clemson fan co-workers’ cell phone ring to Sandstorm and locking their phones into Japanese mode.