Overconfident Mt. Pleasant teenager Tiffany Paulus performed her sub-mediocre singing talents yesterday during the America’s Got Talent auditions in North Charleston. Tiffany’s false confidence in her singing ability is attributed to her parents, who have been lying to her for years because they don’t want to make her feel bad.
Producers at NBC were tasked with the challenge of enduring hours of awful performances and terrible jokes so they could find the one or two people with an actually shred of talent. Three hours in, producers could be seen rolling their eyes and yawning.
Tiffany Paulus was confident in her chances of making it to the next round. “I’ll be singing “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston, because I can perform it better than she did,” Tiffany said. “I know I’m a really good singer because my parents told me so. Why would my parents lie to me?”
When Tiffany wasn’t put through to the next round, she was seen cursing and flipping over tables. She screamed, “My daddy is going to sue you,” before storming outside to her father’s Mercedes SUV in the parking lot.
This season of America’s Got Talent will be the final year featuring no-talent ass clowns, because next year will be dominated by soon-to-be laid off Ringing Bros acrobats who can fire a flaming arrow at a moving target while performing a triple back flip.