A West Ashley elementary school teacher is finally able to pay her bills after becoming a part-time sales rep for Dildo-World. Amanda Martinez has been selling sex toys at night for two weeks now and has made large commission checks by selling to the desperate women of West Ashley.
“I could barely afford to pay my bills on a public school teacher’s salary,” said Amanda. “All of that changed when I started hosting dildo parties. They practically sell themselves. Thank God the women of West Ashley have a voracious appetite for giant dildos.”
There’s a larger demand for dildos in West Ashley than other parts of Charleston because the majority of West Ashley men are out of shape and usually half-drunk, which leads to subpar sexual performance. Dildos are the only way most West Ashley women can get the satisfaction they need.
When asked if he was disturbed that Amanda was selling dildos in her spare time, school Principal Jerry Merkle said, “Hell no. They don’t pay us anywhere near what we deserve to deal with these little bastards. I may even start selling dildos myself.”
Amanda is now booked to host dildo parties every night for the next three weeks. If she can maintain her sales numbers, she’s projected to earn a Dildo-World Golden Strap-On trophy by the end of the year. Amanda intends to take some of her dildo money to buy school supplies for the children that were cut from the budget.