To introduce his students to the topic of the middle class, Porter-Gaud Teacher Mr. Chatsworth scheduled a field trip to study a middle income family up close. The students were able to see for the first time how people without trust funds take care of themselves.
Porter-Gaud mandated that all students going on the field trip be vaccinated before venturing into the sub-million dollar real estate zone. Four of the students’ parents volunteered to be chaperones, but opted to send their live-in housekeepers in their place at the last minute.
The group of students rode in a stretch Mercedes limo to suburban West Ashley to observe the locals and take notes. Mr. Chatsworth arranged for the class to shadow a family of four throughout the afternoon. The students roamed through the house and examined each family member in detail.
Some of the students were confused by what they saw. “I don’t understand,” said senior Tinsley Livingston. “Why are they cooking their own food? Where’s their Paleo chef? This is so tragic.”
Other students were fascinated by what they observed. “These creatures are quite exotic,” said junior Royce Cumberland. “They don’t keep their wine in a temperature-controlled cellar. They just leave the bottles on top of their refrigerator. How peculiar!”
One of the students was reprimanded for trying to slip one of the family children a few hundred dollar bills without anyone seeing. Mr. Chatsworth explained the importance of not tampering with their way of life. “We must not confuse the middle class with unwarranted gifts in their natural habitat. They must grow up to be unhappy and blame everything on their parents. That’s how the middle class cycle keeps going.”