A North Charleston disc golfer has been put on the injured reserve list for the next 4-6 weeks as he deals with a sprained drinking hand. Chaz Martin experienced the injury after taking a sip of his IPA can too quickly after hitting the basket from 30 feet out, and now doctors are unsure of when he’ll return before the end of April.
Chaz’s injury occurred on the 15th hole of the Park Circle disc golf course when he was already four beers deep. The wind was carrying his disc shots high and harshing his mellow, but everything gnarlied-out when he nailed the basket with his mid-range disc on his second shot. He pulled his IPA can to his mouth too quickly and instantly winced from the pain shooting down his wrist. He was forced to exit the course before finishing, which resulted in him losing his buzz.
Chaz was discouraged by the doctor’s decision. “I want to get out there and play, but my beer-drinking hand isn’t one-hundred percent right now. My doctor said I could play disc golf without trying to drink beer, but I told him that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. I may travel to China to get injected with stem cells to see if I can speed up the recovery time and start ripping beers on the course again.”
Chaz’s friend Scoobie did his best to console his friend in his time of need. “It was really hard seeing him struggle when I knew deep down he wanted to play. But then we hotboxed a spliff in my Honda Element and destroyed some nachos at YoBo, so that helped. I plan to keep him completely baked until he can drink IPAs again and get back on the course.”
Chaz will begin the long road to recovery by getting stoned and playing Mario Kart and Rock Band 6 hours a day to restore his hand strength. In five years, he’ll become so good at disc golf that he’ll leave his pizza delivery job and go pro.