The new 2017 models of Mt. Pleasant moms got media buzz today when it was announced their fuel mileage had increased to 87 miles per gallon of Starbucks coffee. The new and improved models are expected to be in high-demand and sellout immediately.
Manufacturer Dennis Blevins said the upgrade in the new model was needed. “Older models of Mt. Pleasant moms were more complex and ran on fine wine and charcuterie,” he said. “We simplified the new models to run purely on Starbucks coffee, which is cheaper, burns cleaner, and provides more energy. The final product is a more sustainable Mt. Pleasant mom.”
Mt. Pleasant Director of Revenue said new tax benefits are being offered to ease the financial burden of the investment. “We’ll be offering local tax credits to anyone who purchases a new 2017 mom in the current year,” he said. “That way they can invest in more of their mom’s pixie bob haircut with intense blond highlights and workout clothes that will only be worn to Trader Joe’s.”
Newly-married local Greg Klein was upset with his recent purchase. “Of course as soon as I get the 2016 model, they go ahead and come out with the brand new fancy 2017 model. You can’t ever stay ahead of this tech stuff.”
The excitement will continue in Mt. Pleasant later this year when the new Miller Lite powered hybrid husbands are released. They’ll also be able to charge their lithium-ion batteries by riding around in their center console boat away from the family on Saturdays.