Mt. Pleasant’s Plan To Become A Total Clusterfuck is Ahead of Schedule

The Mount Pleasant Town Council was delighted to learn today that their plan to turn the town into a total clusterfuck is well ahead of schedule. Initial estimates put reaching clusterfuck status out a few more years, but the new monstrosity apartment complex across from Towne Centre caused the master plan to surge ahead.

Town Council Member William Hampson was proud of their efforts. “We made it our goal to make Mt. Pleasant the most frustrating place to live in the entire Charleston Metropolitan area by the year 2020,” he said. “But with our commitment to irresponsible building, sluggish infrastructure updates, and a complete disregard for resident concerns, we’re going to hit our goal by next year. Mt. Pleasant is going to be the gold standard for clusterfucks around the world.”

Department of Transportation spokesperson James Wellington believes they have a solution to solve the impending traffic crisis. “Traffic is gonna be so jacked up, traffic lights are going to be completely useless,” he said. “We’re looking at converting over to a total chaos system like they have in Bangkok, Thailand. No lanes at all, cars driving anywhere they can squeeze in, constant horns honking, and loose urban chickens running through the streets. It’s the only feasible option left.”

Mt. Pleasant resident Leslie Flowers was shocked when she saw the apartments across from Towne Centre. “I was driving home from work today when I saw that massive apartment complex going up and I was like ‘What the fuck?'” she said. “How many new massive housing projects can one region take? This place is turning into a total shit-show. I’m going to move my ass to West Ashley, which is slightly less of a shit-show.”

The Town Council is expected to lower residents’ spirits even further when they announce the building of five new parking decks in already traffic congested areas. They’ll then okay more apartments to be built to fill the parking decks.

17 Comments on "Mt. Pleasant’s Plan To Become A Total Clusterfuck is Ahead of Schedule"

  1. female engineer | May 5, 2017 at 11:49 am |

    Couldn’t you have put a more accurate photo of an overweight white guy managing the project?

    • Well it is FAUX Country after all – we don’t want to be too accurate!

    • Lisa Dunlevy | May 5, 2017 at 4:58 pm |


    • The chic isnt managing the project. Managers wear white hard hats, she is there for the trash or clean the porta potty.

      • Joan Colglazier | May 10, 2017 at 11:25 pm |

        Should it be a woman since the job has something to do with “cleaning”? Not! She’s the Environmental Engineer who thinks the clear cutting has gone really well. All kidding aside. My Son is moving to CO because he no longer recognizes where he grew up. I’ve lived East Cooper for 40 years. I’m leaving too.

  2. Glyn Cowden | May 5, 2017 at 1:53 pm |

    It appears the faux citizens for progress group, Mount Pleasant United is amped up its efforts to achieve total clusterfuck before 2020

  3. Ginger Parker | May 5, 2017 at 2:44 pm |

    Maybe it was a woman that did it.

  4. Ginger Parker | May 5, 2017 at 2:45 pm |

    And a skinny woman at that.

  5. Maybe had the residents of Mt Pleasant not cried so much about a Costco going in the same area, as originally planned by leaders, then they wouldn’t have 10,000 new families in the apartment being built right now.

  6. Burt Hayes | May 5, 2017 at 9:11 pm |

    Let’s see couldn’t build a Costco or Home Depot in that same spot because of traffic concerns, but we will put 10,000 new apartments there instead…..makes sense to me!

  7. Jim Fleming | May 5, 2017 at 10:50 pm |

    People were pissed about “big box” stores going in there and blocked it, best i recall. This is a much better option.

  8. Jim Fleming | May 5, 2017 at 10:56 pm |

    I remember a forum for discussion about retail. Did i have my head in the sand for the input on the BS that is happening there now. My fault. Will pay MUCH more attention now. And are the builders of this property using profits to put back into the community upgrades to infrastructure to mitigate the negative impact of putting that volume of people into that size of property? I really need to get off my ass and participate. Done with letting things happen.

  9. Yep, clusterfuck indeed. Traffic is at an all time high and frustrated drivers and citizens even higher. What a shit show indeed.

  10. Dee dellinger | May 6, 2017 at 10:59 am |

    We left MtP 6 years ago for this very reason. This is not a new problem but could be forecasted by anyone trying to get to Lowe’s from Hwy 41.

  11. Sonnie Keery | May 7, 2017 at 8:49 am |

    Just progress y’all, under the heading “shit happens”

  12. Mount Parkinglot

  13. Hungry Supperintendant | May 21, 2017 at 6:28 pm |

    She’s there giving the thumbs up because all the sandwiches are done for lunch.

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