Mt. Pleasant Couple Won’t Stop Bragging About Trader Joe’s

Friends at a Mt. Pleasant dinner party became irritated when the couple hosting the get-together wouldn’t stop yapping about how they shop at Trader Joe’s. Tom and Gina Richardson made it abundantly clear to their guests that everything they would be consuming that evening came from Trader Joe’s, despite their friends not giving a shit.

Even though the dinner guests wanted to watch the football game, the Richardson’s insisted on making everyone take a guided tour of their pantry. The tour included a brief description of each item and the cost so they could boast about how inexpensive it was.

Disgruntled guest Farah Vincent had to bite her tongue through the pantry presentation. “I don’t understand why they have to be so obnoxious about showing off their Trader Joe’s food. For the love of Christ, who cares? I’ve never even heard of half of this whacky shit anyway, which is probably why it’s so cheap. And stop comparing it to Whole Foods. It’s not even in the same league.”

The tension only increased when Gina Richardson opened a bottled of Two Buck Chuck Wine and bragged about how cheap it was. Farah once again struggled to withhold her irritation. “First of all, it doesn’t cost two bucks, it costs three. And second, you know what’s better than paying three bucks for a bottle of wine? Paying ten bucks for one that doesn’t taste like moldy aluminum foil and gives you a wicked hanger.”

Farah was finally unable to contain her frustration any longer when the Richardson’s placed the main course in front of her. “I couldn’t believe what they were serving us. Chili-spiced mango fries, purple wasabi peas, and albino curry ostrich balls? Was Tim Burton cooking this shit?”

That’s when Farah faked an asthma attack so her and her boyfriend could leave immediately and get drive-thru at Chick-fil-a. When asked if Farah would have dinner with the Richardson’s again, she replied, “I really don’t want to, but I should do my best to keep good relations with them. After all, they have a boat.”




4 Comments on "Mt. Pleasant Couple Won’t Stop Bragging About Trader Joe’s"

  1. l m a o

  2. “After all, they have a boat.”

    LOLOLOLOLOLOL

  3. I’ll stick to Publix and Harris Teeter!

  4. R.T. Shepherd | April 30, 2016 at 2:03 pm | Reply

    I like roaming about Earth Fare. Exotic woman, unpronounceable food supplements, weird offers on the bulletin board, tofu-inflected food….but I offer guests straight up redneck grub as I have no boat.

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