Mt. Pleasant Couple Aiming to Retire at Age 153

A Mt. Pleasant couple has made official plans to retire and finally enjoy life at age 153. Drew and Laura Skinner came up with their target date after calculating when all the debt they’ve accrued chasing the Mt. Pleasant lifestyle will be reasonably paid off enough for them to stop working. They’ll be left with a nest egg of just $3,000 to work with.

Drew said mapping out their retirement was a difficult task. “At first, we thought we could retire at age 129, but then we forgot about taking out loans for our daughter’s college tuition,” he said. “We have to make sure she can attend a private university to major in English, where she’ll fail out in her third year and come home to wait tables somewhere on Shem Creek. It’s a rite of passage for all Wando students.”

Laura is already doing research on their post-retirement recreational activities. “It’s difficult finding activities that will be good for 153-year-olds and cost less than $3,000,” she said. “We’ll probably be confined to a bed by then. Maybe a heavy-duty parasailing rig could sustain both of our gurneys. Wouldn’t that be fun?”

Financial Planner Sean Rogers said this type of predicament is common for Mt. Pleasant couples. “Mt. Pleasant people spend most of their life building up massive debt to overpay for things they don’t really need. You could buy the same house or nicer on James Island for a third of the price, but God forbid you make it seem like you can’t keep up with the Joneses. They choose to ride around in unnecessary golf carts in non-golf communities and sabotage their retirement.”

Drew and Laura’s plans will need to be reevaluated when Drew spontaneously buys them a membership to a local resort club because other people in the neighborhood are members too. The new expense will push their retirement age to 179.