A Moncks Corner man is scrambling to preserve his reputation after being caught dancing to Beyoncé’s music. Dale Coleman’s friends accidentally walked into his living room while he was shaking his hips to “Crazy In Love”, and now Dale is claiming it was all just for research.
One of Dale’s hunting buddies, Chester, didn’t mean to burst into the scene. “When Dale didn’t show up for duck hunting, we were worried, so we all decided to check on him. When we got close to his trailer, we heard strange music blasting inside. We thought someone might have broken in, so we busted the door down. I had no idea we’d find him doing THAT.”
They found Dale sassy-dancing to Beyoncé’s music and waving his finger in the air. The music was so loud that he didn’t even realize his friends were watching until the song was over. Everyone involved was horrified, but Dale claims he was only doing it for a research project he’s working on.
“Everybody has it all wrong,” said Dale. “The dancing was required for an extensive project I’m working on—that’s all. I usually listen to ZZ Top when I’m alone—I swear.” Dale never did elaborate on what his research project was.
College of Charleston Modern Dance professor Anita Quigley says that most of the population simply cannot refrain from dancing to Queen B’s music. “Her jams are simply too hot for the human brain to resist, and involuntary dancing may occur. Beyoncé’s music has a powerful hold on us all.”
Dale’s friends are encouraging him to enter a reprogramming camp in Jacksonville where he’ll hear nothing but Lynyrd Skynyrd and Ted Nugent for two weeks. Dale has refused, saying he doesn’t have a Beyoncé problem and it’s all under control.