Excitement is at an all-time high in South Carolina this week in anticipation of the biggest wrestling event the state has ever seen. Mighty Mighty Muschamp will challenge Fabulous Dabo Swinney in a no holds barred ladder match for the Palmetto Belt at Rivalry Slam this Saturday.
Governor Nicki Haley wants as little interference as possible during the match, so it will be referee-free contest with absolutely no interruptions from outside agitators. The Palmetto Belt will be hung 20-feet high above the ring, and the first person to successfully climb a ladder to grab it will take home the belt.
Fabulous Dabo Swinney is still recovering from an unexpected loss to The Panther a few weeks ago, but he’s still the clear favorite to win. Mighty Mighty Mushcamp has struggled to win key matches in recent months, but his high-energy anger might be enough to help him pull out the upset.
While wielding his favorite folding chair, Mighty Mighty Mushchamp said, “I ain’t scared of no punk-ass fancy-pants Swinney. I’m going to eat that stupid feather boa for lunch. Let’s see if he can escape my deadly Chair Bear Hug!”
Known for his confidence and swagger, Fabulous Dabo Swinney said he isn’t even nervous about his fired-up competitor. “I’ve owned South Carolina for the last two years, and some bonehead comes along, gnashing his teeth and growling, thinking he’s going to take my belt? Please…it’s nothing that Fabo Dabo can’t handle. I’m going to crush Itty Bitty Muschamp and keep my Palmetto Belt for years to come.”
Winner of the Palmetto Belt will automatically earn an entry into The College Rumble, where teams from all conferences will battle it out for supreme domination. The last man standing in the ring will take home the National Championship Belt. So far no one has been able to stop Slick Nick Saban all year, but anything can happen in wrestling.