Local Woman Delighted to Discover Hanahan Doesn’t Suck as Much as She Originally Thought

A local woman who was recently forced to attend an event in Hanahan was delighted to discover the town didn’t suck as much as she originally thought. Under normal circumstances, West Ashley resident Latrice Johnson wouldn’t have thought about setting foot in Hanahan. “I’ve heard that place is a super sketchy, so naturally I was concerned about going there.”

Johnson was reportedly duped into traveling to Hanahan. “There was a food sign-up sheet for my co-worker’s baby shower, and I offered to bring the cake, Publix of course, because I’m not cooking that shit from scratch. Then she tells me she lives in Hanahan, and I was like ‘Aw, hell no,’ but I volunteered for the cake, so I had to go.”

Johnson reluctantly made the fifteen minute drive out to Hanahan for the event. “I had my pepper spray in hand, just in case I saw a rabid dog or something.” When she arrived, she was pleasantly surprised by what she saw. “There were no rundown trailers or creepy gas stations. That Tanner Plantation place was actually pretty nice. They even had two bars there.”

Local shops and restaurants have struggled to dispel the rumors about how much Hanahan sucks. Bucca’s bartender Alanna Plumley said, “Everyone who comes in here is always shocked to find out how enjoyable this place is. I wish people didn’t think Hanahan was a giant landfill, but it’s hard when most people don’t even know where it is.”

Johnson even stopped at the Super-BiLo on her way out of town. “This grocery store has plenty of parking and Wi-Fi? Damn! What the hell am I doing in West Ashley?” The City of Hanahan plans to launch a media campaign next month called “We’re Not an Industrial Waste Dump” to better educate the public about the nice things it actually has to offer.




3 Comments on "Local Woman Delighted to Discover Hanahan Doesn’t Suck as Much as She Originally Thought"

  1. Hanahan does NOT suck, but Bucca’s and LGs sure does. Can someone from Mt. P or West Ashtray send over some decent servers? Thanks.

  2. Give me five over…just five over baby….

    Nelton
    Hanahan Patrol Officer

  3. R.T. Shepherd | April 9, 2016 at 1:17 pm | Reply

    I like Hanahan women. They look real and healthy. Oops. I can visualize a “news story” on my take.

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