A James Island man is already prepared for the 2016 Christmas season due to the fact that he never took the lights off his house from last year. Jimmy Cochran struggled on Black Friday to find the Christmas decorations in his garage, but after four hours he finally remembered they were still on the house where he left them the year before.
Much to the dismay of his neighbors, Jimmy’s Christmas lights have been clearly visible on his house since Black Friday 2015. Despite anonymous letters in the mail and many complaining threads on the neighborhood Facebook page, Jimmy simply forgot that they were there. Most neighbors hoped he would find them in the spring when he came out to do house maintenance, however, they underestimated Jimmy’s ability to sit for an entire year binge-watching Netflix and drinking cheap beer.
Jimmy was delighted to discover he didn’t have to do any work to put up his decorations for this holiday season. “When I realized they were still on the house, it was like winnin’ the lottery,” he said. “Now that I think about it, I was going to take my lights down in January, then I saw there was a Moonshiners marathon on The Discovery Channel and I wasn’t going to miss that. I guess I just forgot about them after that.”
Neighbor Natalie Rynders is frustrated with the state of Jimmy’s property. “We sunk our life savings into our dream house on James Island but didn’t realize there was no HOA here,” she said. “That means Jimmy can do whatever he wants without getting in trouble…like keeping his Christmas lights up all year, growing plants out of old toilets in the front yard, and keeping a salvage yard of broken down popcorn machines on the side of his property that faces our house. It’s not really want I want to see when I drink herbal tea on our master bedroom balcony in the morning.”
Jimmy’s Christmas lights are expected to fail when he plugs them in for the first time since enduring outdoor weather for the last year. He’ll troubleshoot it for ten minutes before becoming frustrated and going inside his house to drink a Milwaukie’s Best Light tallboy can. Neighbor Natalie is expected to finally take down Jimmy’s Christmas lights when she puts her house in the market.