A soon-to-be-married James Island couple is thoroughly irritating everyone they know with their excessive wedding plans. Dennis and Bianca Fowler were engaged in September and have been doing everything they can to milk their wedding for all it’s worth.

The initial wedding plans got off to a rocky start when Dennis and Bianca insisted on holding their engagement party during the Clemson vs Notre Dame football game. Bianca ruffled the feathers of Clemson fans when she turned off the TV in the fourth quarter to read aloud a long-form poem retelling the story of Dennis popping the question in Battery Park.

The anger only grew when the couple sent out wedding invitations sprinkled with glitter letting everyone know they’re getting married on a workday. The mandatory dress code of seersucker suits for men and fuschia dresses with gold shoes for women did little to ease the frustration of family and friends.

Dennis and Bianca’s wedding shower plans have only made matters worse. “These narcissists are out of control,” said cousin Tammy Hopkins. “First they sent out invites for a wedding shower with close friends. Then there was a family wedding shower, and after that was a co-worker wedding shower. Now they’re demanding a Stock The Bar party, and when they get back from their honeymoon, there’s a housewarming party. Are you fucking serious? Get over yourselves! I’m done buying presents for these self-obsessed maniacs.”

A full-scale riot is expected to break out at their wedding reception when Bianca announces there will be no alcohol provided because they donated their bar budget to buy shoes for children in Sudan. If that doesn’t send everyone running to the exits, the classical string quartet wedding band will.