Handing Out Free Donuts at SEWE’s Birds of Prey Demo Creates Problems

People attending SEWE’s Birds of Prey Demonstration over the weekend got a big surprise when the birds descended on the crowd to steal their free donuts. Hundreds of people were faced with the tough decision of fleeing the scene empty-handed or fighting the birds to protect their tasty treats.

As part of a promotion to increase crowd attendance, each person received a free gourmet donut at the gate. In hindsight, the decision to have the Delectable Donuts Food Truck co-sponsor the Birds of Prey Demonstration may not have been the best decision by the event planners. When the birds of prey were released, they couldn’t resist the call of the sugary treats in the crowd and began swooping down to eat them.

“We didn’t really plan for this scenario,” said falcon trainer Reid Tensen. “Most falcons have never seen a donut before. Their little bird brains almost exploded when they smelled the maple bacon bars in the crowd. I don’t blame them for doing whatever it took to eat them.”

Terrified people fled the scene and took refuge in the monkey exhibit tent, where the monkeys offered protection and checked everyone’s scalp for bugs. It took the trainers ten hours to retrieve the birds and calm them down from their sugar high.

Attendee Dana Freeman was able to fight the birds off to protect her donut. “Do you have any idea how long you have to wait in line for a Delectable Donut?” she said. “There was no way in hell I was letting one of those birds take it from me.”

SEWE’s organizers say they have learned their lesson and won’t distribute food at predatory animal demonstrations going forward. The week-long wildlife exhibition plans to finish strong with hundreds of dude-bro frisbee golfers attending the Dock Dogs Competition.