A Hanahan woman is in mourning today as her March Madness bracket is now completed busted. Not only did Lisa Scoletti have Purdue and Baylor going to the Elite Eight, but she also had Michigan State winning the National Championship. She’s scheduled a wake for Monday morning to lay her bracket to rest for good.
“How could this have happened?” Lisa said while sniffling into a tissue. “Michigan State was a good pick. You always bet on Izzo in March.” Lisa plans to spend the remainder of the weekend wearing sweatpants and crying on the couch.
Her friends are doing their best to comfort her in this time of need. “I don’t even know the right words to say,” said best friend Regina. “She had already started planning how to spend the pool winnings in her head, and then she was blindsided. She’s sick about it. We even got her a BBQ Bacon Smashburger with a shake. She didn’t even touch it. Poor thing.”
Lisa has hired Truman & Hay Funeral Services to handle her bracket’s remains. Funeral Home Director Henry Truman assisted Lisa with her final selections. “She’s opted for cremation with a sterling silver urn, a fine selection. We’re doing everything we can to ease her through this tragedy.”
Lisa plans to avoid watching the games until the college basketball champion is crowned. When it’s over, she’ll scatter her bracket’s ashes at the Morris Island Lighthouse. “My bracket would have wanted it that way,” said Lisa.