Goose Creek Named Kit Kat Lasagna Capital of the World

After years of lobbying the Worldwide Kit Kat Lasagna Association, Goose Creek has earned the honor of being named Kit Kat Lasagna Capital of the World. A new sign with the designation will be posted at the gateway to Goose Creek, right next to the Money Man Pawn Shop.

Kit Kat Lasagna is a delicacy in the Goose Creek area. It contains meticulously layered graham crackers, M&M’s, Puff marshmallow spread, and fifteen four-piece Kit Kats. The entire process of creating one from start to finish takes almost three minutes.

Goose Creek Mayor Michael Heitzler was ecstatic to hear the news. “This is the best thing to happen to Goose Creek since we opened up that storage facility two years ago. I can’t wait to share it on my AOL newsgroups.”

Not all residents were excited about the announcement. Local nutritionist, Anna Rice, said, “This is quite possibly the most unhealthy thing you can feed your family. My rough estimate is each Kit Kat Lasagna contains 13,000 calories, and that’s on the low end. It’s downright dangerous.”

Kit Kat Lasagna connoisseur, Bertha McGurdy, dispelled the fears over her favorite meal. “I’ve been eating Kit Kat Lasagna all my life and there ain’t nothing wrong with me. I can ride my scooter around Walmart with no problem just like everybody else.”

Goose Creek will now host the annual Kit Kat Lasagna Festival to be held each summer in the Food Lion parking lot. In addition to a Kit Kat Lasagna Eating Competition, the inaugural festival will also have jump castles and a feature performance by the 80’s rock duet Nelson.

1 Comment on "Goose Creek Named Kit Kat Lasagna Capital of the World"

  1. Biscuit Eater | January 7, 2016 at 11:36 am |

    What most folks don’t know is that the mayor purchased that storage facility to mass cook these things in the summertime for the festival…. it gets pretty steamy in there when those doors are rolled shut.

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