Fauxcountry News Projects Scott Baio Winner of the SC Republican Primary

Scott Baio is projected to win the South Carolina Republican Primary according to a Fauxcountry News exit poll (error margin 87% ). Never before has a candidate received so many write-in votes, and South Carolinians have sent a clear message that they want the 80’s heartthrob to lead this country to prosperity again.
Baio’s presence in the republican race has been relatively quiet until today, but his Italian stallion good looks and charming personality couldn’t be ignored any longer. When compared to everyone else running for office, Baio is clearly the most desirable candidate.
Baio’s last minute surge in the Lowcountry stems from his proven track record of success. “He’s a real go-getter,” said local Denise Burrows. “His conflict resolution and house management skills on Charles In Charge shows he can get things done in office.”
Political Analyst Edward Wentz says he’s never seen anything like this before. “It’s definitely the strangest thing I’ve come across in my career,” he said. “I’m not really sure that South Carolinians understand what Scott Baio did on TV was just pretend and that he has no actual political experience. But then again, Trump is doing well, so who knows what the hell people are thinking this year.”
Baio’s campaign has been quiet about his potential running mate, but all signs point to Mark Paul Gosselaar as the obvious choice. Mark’s proven ability to negotiate his way out of trouble on Saved By The Bell will be crucial experience needed for foreign policy matters.