East Cooper Medical Center Launches VIP Maternity Ward

The women of Mt. Pleasant have been looking for a trendier birthing experience, and now they have the most exclusive option nearby. East Cooper Medical Center has launched a brand new VIP maternity ward where Mt. Pleasant women can expect the most luxurious birthing experience possible.

Women giving birth will be able to specify their own birthing plans, including an exclusive guest list of up to 20 people (club dress code is mandatory). If a birthing plan isn’t specified, the maternity staff will default to playing Kanye West at a medium volume while receiving the baby in a cashmere Pottery Barn blanket. Nurses will even put a picture of your placenta on Instagram for you.

Newborn VIP babies will be kept in plush cribs on raised platforms surrounded by red velvet ropes away from regular babies. They’ll also be treated to bottle service from a sommelier, who will only serve the finest milk from around the world.

VIP mothers won’t have to worry about bland hospital food, because they will have a chef around the clock who will prepare locally-sourced, organic gluten-free meals. They’ll also be able to place two Sephora orders per day before mandatory organic frozen yogurt is served before bedtime.

OBGYN Kara Wilkins said the new VIP birthing experience was needed given the nearby female population. “We built a brand new castle of a hospital for these women, and it still wasn’t good enough,” she said. “This was the only way to make expecting Mt. Pleasant moms happy.”




2 Comments on "East Cooper Medical Center Launches VIP Maternity Ward"

  1. Ricky Martin | March 31, 2016 at 2:58 pm |

    “…only way to make expecting Mt. Pleasant moms happy.” HA! It does not exist a way to make Mt. Pleasant moms happy, expecting or otherwise!!

  2. Walter White | March 31, 2016 at 4:00 pm |

    Ricky – maybe you should try living la vida loca

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