Downtown Cat Opens Introvert Cafe

Everyone in Charleston is buzzing about the newly-opened Pounce Cat Café, a place for cat lovers to enjoy fine drinks and wine while spending time with many feline friends. Now local cat & entrepreneur Quincy McKittles has quickly moved to capitalize on the excitement by launching a slightly different concept this week. Quincy has opened The Introvert Café, a place for cats to relax and enjoy tasty treats while playing with extremely shy humans.

The café will offer various milk drinks and top shelf varieties of cat nip. If cats are willing to spend a little more money, they can reserve a VIP litter box locker to poop in. Cats can rest assured knowing that all of the introverts’ vaccinations are up to date.

Quincy said cats like him have been wanting a place like this for a long time. “After a long day, a cat can come in and knead their paws into an introvert’s chest, knock their drink off the table, and lift their tail up to show off their bing-bong. Maybe even violently claw the introvert’s hand when it’s done being petted. It’s a cat’s dream come true.”

Sally Bowers has been working as an introvert at the café since it opened. “I’ve been looking for a good excuse to turn down invites every weekend and now I finally have one,” she said. “Plus I get paid to have cats play with me, and I can read fantasy adventure books when it isn’t busy. Everybody wins.”

If a cat develops a strong enough bond with their human friend, they can pay a fee and adopt them, as long as they provide the introvert with an arts and crafts space in their home. Quincy will be playing old re-runs of Penny Dreadful throughout the café to attract more introverts to come onboard.