The Charleston area is struggling to recover from last night’s election after Donald Trump won the presidency, sending democrats into a permanent frozen Surrender Cobra pose. Coffee shops and bike stores everywhere are unable to open today because Lowcountry democrats are physically unable to show up to work due to their permanent state of shock.
The Surrender Cobra is the pose the human body takes when the brain is forced to handle sudden extreme shock. Both hands go on top of the head, with elbows out wide, taking the shape of a cobra’s head. The epic upset in the election last night caused tens of thousands of local democrats into this pose, and now it appears they’re unable to move from it.
Lowcountry Health Specialist Jennifer Popper is shocked with the level of Surrender Cobras she’s seeing. “We see minor Surrender Cobra flare-ups during the college football season, but we haven’t seen this level of Surrender Cobra freezing since Auburn ran the field goal kick back on Alabama. I don’t know what we’re going to do with all these people.”
The frozen Surrender Cobras will be moved to a storage facility in Goose Creek and monitored to see if they come out of it.
Auburn-Alabama was a much bigger shock than this. 108 yard return!!
I read that the cobra-frozen democrats in storage are being fed a diet of minced crow and blended humble pie.