Couple Wears Pants With Elastic Waistband For Final Day of Food & Wine Festival

A couple was forced to wear pants with an elastic waistband for the final day of the Charleston Food & Wine Festival. Carl and Vanessa turned heads when they entered the upscale finale event wearing grey sweatpants to allow for more comfortable midsection expansion.

The Charleston Food & Wine Festival is an annual three-day event where locals pretend like they actually know something about food and wine. The festival is broken out into three stages: Fryday, Faturday, and Rotunday. The best chefs and wine makers around showcase their finest creations, which attendees scarf down in alarming volumes. By Rotunday, they’re so full that they can barely fit in their normal clothes. Wearing pants with an elastic waistline helps them to keep eating through the final day and delays the gluttonous shame for one more day.

Vanessa discussed the struggles experienced toward the end of the Food & Wine Festival. “I’ve eaten and drank myself into a food coma every day,” she said. “I feel like a beached whale at this point, but I have to power through and down at least two more delicious meals. The sweatpants will give me the waist expansion space I need to get this done without bursting through my pants.”

Fashion designers are starting to take notice of the demand for elegant-looking clothes that can accommodate a distended belly. Fashion Designer Elle Halloway said, “We’re working on our Husky Chic line for next year,” she said. “It will give women the fashion-forward look they want with expanding pants so they can throw down on two giant plates of shrimp and grits with ease. Form meets function.”

Carl and Vanessa will say they’re too full to eat another bite at the end of the festival, but on the way home will justify each getting a large milkshake at Cookout’s drive-thru. They’ll demolish their shakes before they get home and then sprawl out on the couch, drifting in and out of consciousness as their bodies struggle to process the 7,000 calories they consumed.