CofC Theatre Graduate Accepts Lead Role at Taco Bell

A College of Charleston Theatre graduate recently accepted her first lead role at Taco Bell. Christina Fallon will now be an understudy to the Evening Drive-Thru Manager at the national fast food chain since it’s the only job her Theatre degree could get her.

On her opening night at Taco Bell, Christina will join a college-educated evening staff who have all earned degrees in English, Art History, and Music. They will all sing the soundtrack to Hamilton in unison while they make Cheesy Gordita Crunches for the late-night crowd who’s been out drinking all night.

Economist Jerome Frazier said that the value of a college degree varies based on what is studied. “If you want a job after you graduate, you need to learn the skills that people are willing to pay for,” he said. “If you want to end up living in your parents’ house into your thirties and wondering what the hell happened to your life, go ahead and major in Liberal Arts.”

Christina expressed some frustration with her new career choice. “They don’t tell you that your theatre degree leads to slinging tacos,” she said. “I’m going to be ninety years old before I pay off my student loans. I should have listened to my cousin and majored in Finance.”

College of Charleston Theatre Professor Vanessa Zellar explained how one gets a job in the theatre industry. “There are no real theatre jobs,” she said. “We just print that on the college brochures to get you to come here. After you graduate, you’ll be forced to work a crappy minimum-wage job for two years before you accept a slightly-less crappy job teaching theatre to new students. You assist in creating a whole new crop of theatre graduates who can’t find jobs and the entire cycle repeats itself. It’s always worked that way.”

4 Comments on "CofC Theatre Graduate Accepts Lead Role at Taco Bell"

  1. Is this satire or a real news report? I can’t tell anymore.

    • Michelle Barnum | June 3, 2016 at 9:03 am |

      Look at the name of the website and you can tell for sure that it is a joke! Very creative!

  2. Actually, working at Taco Bell takes more talent than most liberal arts degrees require.

  3. R.T. Shepherd | June 3, 2016 at 12:58 pm |

    Cuts close to the real deal…but funny somehow…

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