Charleston Woman Who Gives Zero Shits About Football To Abandon Facebook For Three Months

A Charleston woman who couldn’t care less about football is ready to abandon her Facebook account for the next three months until the season is over. Dana Marcus has always given zero shits about the sport of football and can’t stand when man-children bicker about it in her Facebook feed. Leaving the social media platform is the only way to escape it.

Dana was thrust into the contentious world of college football rivalries when she married devout Clemson fan Andrew six years ago. She immediately began being tagged in Facebook posts insulting Clemson football fans even though she doesn’t give a crap about football. To maintain her sanity, she’ll be avoiding Facebook entirely for the next three months. She’ll survive by downloading episodes of Homeland, The Americans, and Project Runway to her Kindle Fire tablet.

Dana shared her struggle of dealing with the college football season. “All I want to do is go on Facebook and learn what’s new with my friends. The last thing I need to see is a sassy meme insulting Clemson posted by the diehard Gamecocks fan who failed out in his third year. And if their team loses, it’s like a friggin’ funeral procession in my feed. I don’t understand it at all.”

While college football and the social baggage that comes with it can be irritating, Dana says it’s not all that bad. “As long as I supply microwaved appetizers and beer to the living room, my husband will be entertained for hours on Saturdays. At least it gives me some alone time so I don’t have to hear him whining about having a cold or getting blue balls. ESPN is like a free babysitter for adult men.”

Dana’s resolve will be tested when Clemson advances to the college football playoff and extends their season into January. She’ll be forced to break into her reserve of downloaded episodes of House Hunters she’s saved for emergencies.

1 Comment on "Charleston Woman Who Gives Zero Shits About Football To Abandon Facebook For Three Months"

  1. Bye Felicia!

Comments are closed.