Charleston Teacher Cries Upon Learning Douchebag Student Has Younger Brother

An elementary school teacher in Charleston broke down in tears this morning when she found out the biggest douchebag student she’s ever taught has a younger brother in her class this year. Tara Deems made the horrific discovery when reviewing her class roster for the upcoming school year. She barely survived an entire year of nightmare student Brian Bailey, but now she’ll be forced to deal with his younger sibling Brandon.

Tara struggled to convey the misery Brian put her through last school year. “That kid was such a little dickhead,” she said. “He always dumped his yogurt in my tote bag and taught the entire class every curse word imaginable. He’d even fart on other kids’ art projects just to make them cry. It took everything I had not to throw a glue stick at his stupid grinning face. I don’t know if I can do it again this year.”

Efforts to improve Brian’s behavior last year failed when meetings with his parents unproductive. “I tried to tell them how bad he was, but they didn’t care,” she said. “His mom just played with Snapchat filters on her phone and his dad was laughing the horrible things he did. I think they’re all descendants of the Manson family. They very least they could do is reimburse me for the cases of wine I had to consume to wind down from dealing with their shitbag son all day.”

Tara’s reasons for concern are valid, as little Brandon is rumored to be an even bigger douchebag than older brother Brian. Brandon’s teacher last year is still in inpatient care after having a mental breakdown when the troublemaker lit the teacher’s edition textbook on fire so he could use the fire extinguisher.

Tara is currently evaluating whether she is going to stick with teaching or quit altogether to avoid the Bailey family for good. “Right now I’m leaning toward selling vacuums door-to-door. It would be much more fulfilling than dealing with the Bailey monsters.”

2 Comments on "Charleston Teacher Cries Upon Learning Douchebag Student Has Younger Brother"

  1. R.T. Shepherd | August 11, 2016 at 11:05 am |

    Don’t these poor teachers have access to mood altering drugs for unruly students?

  2. Not far from the truth. After having taught for 32 yr, you not only fear their siblings, but somehow they find each other, mate, & you find their children on you roster!

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