Charleston County election officials held an emergency meeting yesterday to discuss accusations of election rigging. Anonymous tips have been received stating that thousands of Detective Martin Riggs clones will be voting, potentially leaving Charleston with a Rigg’d election.
After presidential candidate Donald Trump made claims of widespread election rigging, anonymous tips came flowing in from republican conspiracy theorists who claimed that Detective Martin Riggs had submitted himself to participate in a massive cloning operation to sway the upcoming presidential elections. It’s rumored that all 15,732 Martin Riggs clones are registered as democrats in Charleston County.
Riggs’ Psychiatrist Dr. Olivia Brown believes her patient is erratic and unpredictable. “Martin has a history of explosive anger and destructive behavior,” she said. “Having someone this unstable voting so many times could be catastrophic. He even mentioned he was thinking of voting for Jill Stein, which is just bat shit crazy.”
Conspiracy Theorist Keith Gilbert said the evidence of the cloning scandal is irrefutable. “The proof I’ve seen on Reddit is 100% legit,” he said. “The is very much real, just like chem trails, the controlled demolition of the twin towers, the faking of the moon landing, and the secret alien race of lizard people who control all the Wal-Marts in the world. Wake up, people!”
When asked for comment on his partner’s involvement in a voting scheme, Detective Roger Murtaugh said, “I’m too old for this shit!”