Boeing Builds Moat Filled With Sharks and Alligators to Keep Union Officials Away

The Machinist & Aerospace Workers Union made headlines in the Lowcountry last week as they renewed their marketing efforts to convince Boeing workers to unionize. This week Boeing took the preventative measure of building a moat filled with deadly sharks and alligators to keep those union officials away from their North Charleston plant.

Boeing Regional Vice President George Sorenson applauded his North Charleston workforce for building the moat so quickly. “We drew it up and they executed it within a matter of days,” he said. “It just shows you have capable and efficient our production unit is here.” When asked if he thought gators and sharks were excessive, George disagreed. “We feel it’s an appropriate countermeasure to protect our employees from the union’s deception. Just stay as far away from the moat as possible. We make sure the predators are kept hungry.”

“This is an outrageous abuse of power,” said Union Spokesperson Paula Tulley. “They didn’t even give us the courtesy of a warning about the moat. We only found out about it when we sent an organizer there yesterday and he never came back. They found his half-eaten ‘Unionize” cap along the moat shore.”

Boeing employee Sean Conklin said the moat does present some daily challenges. “There’s a lot of raising and lowering of the moat bridge, which can cause dome delays when you’re trying to park. And I really hate it when the gators venture away from the moat and try to eat me. It’s really annoying.”

Union officials are rumored to be constructing a trebuchet capable of hurling a pod filled with union organizers over the moat and onto Boeing property.

3 Comments on "Boeing Builds Moat Filled With Sharks and Alligators to Keep Union Officials Away"

  1. Fantastic use of “trebuchet.” Don’t see that very often in news articles.

  2. Uhh ohh…. the battle of the billboards paid for out of Union family paychecks and Boeing money not given to the employees continues….

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